Paul in Eph.5:22-31 specifically addresses wives and husbands and compares that relationship with the one of Christ and the church. There are a few verses on which I want us to focus. Remember, this is a message to husbands of which I am one. I need this as much as anyone does. The words written here are to admonish, to encourage, to instruct. I NEED THIS!

In verse 25, we have the divine instruction, the model for assuming the role of a husband. The husband is to love as Christ loved (25). There are five ways that we are to emulate Christ’s love.

First, Christ loved the church selflessly; He gave Himself for her. You notice that our Lord did not put His desires and needs first. If He had, He would never have left the glory of heaven. Yet Jesus put the needs of His bride first. He expressed selfless love when he stated this from Mark 10:45; “For the Son of man also came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.”  

When a man marries, he gives up the right to focus on his own needs. Under God’s plan, he becomes one flesh with his wife. No longer are his decisions based simply on what he wants. Her well-being should be at the heart of every decision he makes. We are to love selflessly!

Second, we love our wives sacrificially; Jesus did this, actually, and entirely by dying for His bride. We cannot love our wives the way Christ loved the church unless we have “died” for her. Not physically, but instead died to our selfish desires, we should be dead to insisting on our way. Our sacrifice of love says, “that nothing is too precious or rare for me to give up for my wife!”

Third, we must have, like Christ did for the church, a sanctifying love. You will note in verses 26, 27 that Jesus cleansed the church by the washing of water with the word, presenting her without spot or wrinkle, holy and blameless. Earlier in the chapter, Paul says wives are to be subject to the husband as the church is to Christ. Christ is the head. Husbands have not been given some authority to “lord” over our wives. Husbands are given instruction and the divine command to “lead” our wives as the spiritual head of the house. As Christ presented the church holy and blameless, we are, as loving leaders, to make our wives a radiantly beautiful shining crown before all. We will protect our wives physically and spiritually. We will never put her in a compromising situation that would lead to sinfulness. We will do nothing to defile her. We love her with a sanctifying love.

Fourth, we are to love our wives with a satisfying love. The scripture is clear; we love our wives as we love our bodies (vs.28a). What does this mean? When we are thirsty, we drink water; when we are hungry, we feed ourselves. When he hurt, we seek to remove the pain. Husbands must love their wives by anticipating her needs and meeting those needs. I do not know of any wife who would openly rebel against a husband, satisfying her every requirement. Most marriages are when the husband and the wife do not see each other as an extension of their own bodies but rather as a possession. When a possession gets old, outdated, or not the latest model, we tend to want something new.

In contrast to this, as men of God first, the longer we are with our wives, the more we see her inner beauty, which drives to an increasing love and commitment. The key in that last statement is “men of God!” That is God’s will over our will.

Fifth and finally, in the practice of marriage, we as husbands must love our wives supremely. “For this, cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh” (5:31). A man’s marriage must come before all other earthly ties. Paul compares this to the relationship of Christ and the church, which is the highest of spiritual relationships. The highest relationship in the family is not mother-child or father-child but that between a husband and his wife.

My prayer is every day; I strive to present my wife to the world as a jewel cherished above all gems. That my love for her overcomes any selfish desires, I may have. This writing is more for me than for you; again, I need to hear these words as I daily strive to be a better man of God and a better husband to my wife. May we all take our marriage covenant seriously.

A worthy woman who can find? For her price is far above rubies. Proverbs 31:10