Matthew 10:39 “Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”

“Self-Satisfaction” verses “Sacrifice.”

To be a winner takes sacrifice, the time dedicated to being at the top of your specific endeavor regardless if it is a physical or mental battle. It often is for self-gratification or satisfaction, to be able to say “I did this or that!” We will often ignore everything to reach that goal of “winning.” We will put the marriage on the back burner; we will come home late to only see the children sleeping. Our relationships are often time just an obstacle to overcome in the goal of winning. The more we win in the self-satisfaction, the more we want it. It’s like a drug, so overpowering that we become addicted to it, needing more and more each passing day until we are completely absorbed in the euphoric high we receive from winning. In the process, we may have lost everything, the marriage, the children, the friends. We wake up one morning look in the mirror and see what a tremendous success we have been at winning while the same mirror reveals a broken, destitute individual who has lost all. You see in the first part of our passage this “Whoever finds his life will lose it…” Jesus is not teaching that winning is a bad thing and neither am I, unless the result is self-satisfaction with no regard for anyone but more importantly no room for Christ. If you live for yourself, you will be separated from God eternally; that is you will lose your life!

Contrastingly, Jesus says: “lose!” notice Jesus states that if you lose your life, sacrifice yourself, for His sake you will find life. You die to your desires and seek Jesus then your life will be spent with God for eternity. So does this mean you cannot win at life? Not at all, I know many individuals that are very successful the way the world defines success, yet have a close relationship with our God. Then how? What are the steps to winning while focusing on losing? The answer, I think, can be found in part from the preceding verses. (Mt.10:32-38)

First you must confess! In verse 32, Jesus says: “Every one therefore who shall confess me before men, him will I also confess before my Father who is in heaven.”  The English Standard Version translates Confess as “Acknowledge.” The Greek language indicates that Acknowledge is correct but also takes it a step further by “acknowledgment that this is a covenant.” Without getting into a lengthy discussion over covenant lets say this; covenant is a promise, (contract) between two parties. In this case, it is Jesus who sets the terms of the contract, (as it is in all things spiritual) “Confess me before men, and I will Confess you before my Father.” Jesus continues to encourage and inspire all of His followers to be fearless, promising blessings to any and all that confess Him. There are two ways to confess Jesus; 1^st there is a confession of Jesus by mouth to all humankind, yet our living is not consistent with our confession. In other words we confess with our mouths but live a life of self-satisfaction behind the scenes not living the confession, (Mt.7:21-23) 2^nd there is the good confession (Mt.16:16) and the living of that same confession. We practice what we preach. No confession, acknowledgement, declaration, covenant is of any value unless we sacrifice self and our desires to take on that of our Lord and Savior. In verse 33, Jesus is stating the opposite and drives home the point here. “But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father who is in heaven.” The verb “deny” means “disown” or “repudiate.” In the first instance, it would be like Peter’s denial from Matthew 26:70, 72, and 74. In the second, it is Christ’s denial of an individual as His disciple from Matthew 7:23; or Paul reaffirming this in 2 Timothy 2:12. Jesus set a great example for this when before Pontius Pilate he was asked “Are you the King of the Jews?” Jesus said, “You have said so.”(Mt.27:11 esv) Jesus reply of “yes” brought about His crucifixion. In like manner, our first step in losing is to “crucify our selfishness” and turn our lives over to the master living a crucified life of “selflessness.”

Second you must accept that division may occur; division in your family. Here is what Jesus said:

(34) “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. (35)  For I have come to set a man against his father and a daughter against her mother and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. (36)  And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household.

 Jesus is called the “Prince of Peace!” (Isa.9:6, 7) How are we to take this statement? I think we need to understand that the absence of the Prince of Peace is a result of hardened hearts. Our hearts can become so seared with the fire of “me” that we become a hardened vessel impossible to break through much like steel that has been tempered in the furnace of the foundry. It takes a broken heart to allow the peace that passes all understanding to enter and replace bitterness and hatred with real peace. Still, does that answer the question of not bringing peace to this earth? The key is “to the earth.” Jesus very presence on this earth brought division based on one’s response to Him. The same is true today; homes are torn apart because on one’s response to Jesus. There is no peace on earth. But rest assured those that deny self and take up their cross and follow Jesus will have peace. That peace will come in that faithful servant living with Jesus for eternity. There is no greater calling than that of Jesus calling you and me to Him, to confess Him, to obey Him, to teach Him, to bring as many to Him as possible. No more surface love for the Lord. Make it deep, make meaningful, and make it according to His will and not yours. Remember, we are not fully engaged with Jesus unless we are completely dis-engaged with our selfish desires.

Third you love Him above all others. “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.”(Vs 37)

Dr. Luke stated it this way in his writing “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:26) The gauntlet has been thrown down; we are challenged to love Him above all family members. Above husband or wife, above children, above Mother or Father. “I can’t do that; it’s too much, it’s too hard!” Then you cannot follow Him. The teaching is plain, if your wife or husband, if your children, if your mother or father come between you and Jesus then you must always put Jesus first.

Jimmy Allen was a great gospel preacher; (died at the age of 90) he has preached well over 1400 gospel meeting spanning a lifetime of service to the Lord. Jimmy’s background was that of difficulty and grew up hard. When Jimmy found out that he was an illegitimate child, he stated: “feelings of anger and inferiority were stamped on my soul.” Jimmy turned a difficult life into a life for the Lord. After Jimmy had obeyed the gospel, he preached anywhere he could the good news of salvation. In an article from the Christian Chronicle in 2010, he was quoted as saying

“From the day I became a Christian at Harding, I knew (the Gospel) was too good for me to keep my mouth shut,” Allen said. “I’ve shared the Gospel wherever I go — with hitchhikers, in a restaurant, on an airplane. Seems to me like this is what Christians are supposed to be doing.”

Certainly if we love the Lord first then all of our relationships will benefit. It has been said “when we love God the most; we can love others more!” I love God so much that what consumes me is to do all I can to get my family to heaven. Now that my children are adults I still am consumed with them following Jesus on His terms, to be stamped by His “signet” ring, to desire Him above all things, to make Jesus the center of their lives. But it is true of all people, I want everyone to come to know Jesus and God’s saving grace. Sadly, not many will obey.

Fourth you must take up your cross and follow Him. “He who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me.” You may or may not know; this is the first mention of the cross in the gospels. (See 16:24; Mk.8:34; Lk.9:23) The Romans forced the condemned man to carry his cross to the site of the crucifixion. The cross was a symbol of shame, reserved for criminals ending in death. In this passage, the Lord is teaching that you must be willing to give up your life in order to follow Him. Luke added the word “daily,” indicating a continual process (Lk.9:23). Failure to take up your cross daily for the Lord renders you unworthy to be a disciple of Him, who bore His cross and died that we might have life and have it abundantly.

You may have heard someone say at some point and time “They are just trying to find their way.” Often we try to find ourselves through many activities like sports and the competition that comes with it, after all we want to win and feel good about ourselves. Maybe we try to find ourselves through hobbies, or careers. It could be that we try to find ourselves through drugs, or sexual immorality. Stop! No longer try to find yourself in the pleasures of man, seek life through Christ. The road is one of self-denial, sacrifice and the only one that will bring everlasting life!

If you want to “win” you must first “lose!”