I had a feeling something was not right, it’s that feeling that’s in the pit of your stomach and is telling you that something is terribly wrong. As we drove to the hospital, I kept telling myself that all was ok, that God was in control and my worry was for nothing. After all, we know that Jesus tells that the worry does not help (Mt.6:25-32). As we arrived at the hospital emergency room, I let everyone out and went I parked the car. As I entered the emergency room there was a young lady waiting for me, the hospital Chaplin, she verified my identity and immediately led me to a family waiting room. Very private, small with a table and 5 chairs. Four walls with 2 paintings, I guess to make you feel comfortable to ease the anxiousness of the moment. It’s not their fault; four walls cannot remove the stress, the anxiety, in fact, if anything it only reinforced what I already had been feeling; that something was very wrong. A few moments passed; the state trooper walked in the room asked for Becki to provide identification. Upon verifying who she was the tense, heavy air of fear was broken with words I will never forget: “Mrs. Rush I’m sorry to inform you that your husband was killed in vehicle accident.”

That was it; he stood their silent, hands by his side looking down doing his best to become as invisible as possible. Certainly this is the part of his job that must make him sick to his stomach. To deliver such devastating news must take years off his life. As my eyes left him and turned quickly to my middle child, sobbing loudly clearly in grief that I thought I would never see. I hurt to my very core I wanted so much to make this all a bad nightmare and we would awake and all would be ok. But it wasn’t ok it was horribly surreal. Then I heard the words that echo in my ears to this day. As my wife, sitting holding my sweet Becki, took hold of Becki’s face and turned it to her and uttered the words that we all needed to hear: “GOD IS IN CONTROL!”

With those words, Becki Rush’s life changed forever! Married 2 years and 2 months to the date all of her dreams of growing old with Jake were gone. The nights of worry that parents have for their teenage children while they are away from the safety of home will not be realized. Retiring together and enjoying the twilight of life all gone in a blink of an eye. The trooper looked at Becki and said “I need someone to identify the body” Becki immediately looked at me without saying a word, face as white as a ghost I knew what she was asking. The trooper looked at me, and I said ‘I will do it.” With that, I left the room and proceeded down a maze of halls to where Jake’s body waited. When I returned to the room affirming that it was indeed Jake I noticed that my eldest, my son and his wife had arrived. There was Philip looking at me with total and complete disbelief in his eyes. Jake and Philip were buddies before Jake and Becki became an item. Philip and Jake had there on way of greeting each other. They would grasp each other as if to have a “man hug” then would butt heads. It was a way of saying “love ya brother!” Chelsea, Philip’s wife, was sitting next to Becki holding her along with Krista Becki’s sister. I could tell Philip wanted to get in there but he would wait his turn. He and I stepped out of the room, and he asked me “What happened?” I was at a loss for words something that is rare for me; I just looked at him and said it was an accident. I told him that Tyler, Jakes friend, was barely hanging on to his life because of this horrific event. I told Philip that we need to pray for Tyler and Melissa that we need to lift them up to God. We went back into the room and did just that. He prayed for the Morse family, for Gary, Debbie and Gentry Rush, for Becki that she would find comfort in the loving arms of the Great Physician that Kim and I, Krista, he and Chelsea would comfort Becki and be there just for Becki. Philip closed his prayer with this: “Father in all things we know that You are in control, in Jesus name amen!”

There it was again “GOD IS IN CONTROL!” I must tell you at that moment, in that waiting room, I think my faith was weak. I think Satan saw an opportunity and started to work his way past my armor, finding that chink in the armor he knew how to get to me; hurt my family. At that moment, I had a choice – trust fully in God and the fact that He is in control, or deny Him and allow Satan to steal me away from the majesty of heaven. Ok, Mark it’s time to put up or shut up! Whose are you going to be? At that moment of my spiritual battle, I saw my son stand up and walk toward his sister. His six foot plus big shoulder frame a welcome retreat for a young lady that needed her big brother. Becki stood, and immediately Philip engulfed Becki in his bear hug that he was so ready to give. Nothing was said, but there was Becki her head against his chest with him holding her tightly. He released one of his arms from around her and a scene that Kim and I have seen many time he invited little sister Krista into the embrace. There they were, siblings, having grown up together, argued, fussed and fought with each other engulfed in the arms of love. It wasn’t so much that Philip easily embraced his sisters it was an undying belief that as family they would always be there for each other, love each other, care for each other and reinforce the powerful statement that these three children had heard all their life; “GOD IS IN CONTROL.” At that moment, I realized that Satan could win, but I and my family were going to do all we could with the strength of God to not allow Satan to win the day.

I mentioned in the first few sentences of this blog that Jesus explains that the worry is unhealthy that we gain nothing by worrying. The following verses in chapter 6 of Matthew’s gospel provide for us the solution to defeating anxiety.

(Vs.33) But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. (Vs.34) “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. (Mt.6:33-34)

In the days, weeks and months since that dreadful day on August 24^th, 2013, that is precisely what our family has chosen to do. Let me be clear – we are not perfect; we are not sinless, but we do have a perfect Savior, who died for our sins. His blood washes still today when we acknowledge our sinful state, repent and move forward seeking first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. I use that day as a reminder that Satan is real, that he wants you to deny the Father of mercy and turn your life over to him. As Christians, we need to remember that GOD IS IN CONTROL! There was a second part to what my wife told Becki that day; “you will get through this!” The action of how we get through it is an ongoing process one that is day by day walking in the grace of God.